I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
