If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
