Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
