Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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