Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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