i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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