Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
