maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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