You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
