He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
