did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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