You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
