At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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