Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize