So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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