Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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