i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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