She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
