Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
