If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
this is an emotional support booty call
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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