Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
