I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
