Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
