Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
