No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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