Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
