I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
