Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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