is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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