I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
