you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
