; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
