I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
