You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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