they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
