he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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