i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
