i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
3pm strippers are depressing
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize