Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
