Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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