you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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