ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
