No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
