Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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