Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just forgot I was standing up.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
