Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
