He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize