New game: find the sober person in Tbell
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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