Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
