I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize