Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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