Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
