I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
