they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he fucked my hip out of place.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
