i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
