then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
