There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
