2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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