hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
