Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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