I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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